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eog314

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eog314
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4104
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132417) - you deserved it (4961)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120425) - you deserved it (6931)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122340) - you deserved it (5717)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126006) - you deserved it (12186)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116399) - you deserved it (11406)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

#436547
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95031) - you deserved it (17663)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131497) - you deserved it (35674)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180755) - you deserved it (11260)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164166) - you deserved it (32122)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116268) - you deserved it (34182)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (368634) - you deserved it (70011)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167948) - you deserved it (25761)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197441) - you deserved it (31316)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)



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