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eog314

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eog314

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  • Number of visits : 4574
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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eog314's page activity

Visits<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

#17646156
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45900) - you deserved it (4214)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (7858)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47786) - you deserved it (18371)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (4244)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (3861)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (11518)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (9921)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (13119)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9524) - you deserved it (22314)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (53180)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (5136)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)



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