Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5315
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's page activity

Visits<b>B4bynunn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:44am<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (9996)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (7985)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (9229)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (5084)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (10625)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (7354)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (5489)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

#17826099
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (6558)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52854) - you deserved it (2664)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42948) - you deserved it (4370)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML

#17813332
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (3808)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: