eog314

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eog314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9860
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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eog314's page activity

Visits<b>B4bynunn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:44am<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:05pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

by Depressed / 08/04/2011 at 7:45am / Sudan / Work

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

by laughingflame / 08/04/2011 at 2:00am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

by CrappyLuck / 08/03/2011 at 10:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

by roze198765 / 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Animals

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

by localbarista / 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

by thedancer5 / 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

by doomeddaddy / 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids