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eog314

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eog314
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4089
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (4550)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (37768)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (933)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (8704)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

#17424598
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (2073)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (7810)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (6930)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed. The lady who waxed my eyebrows also decided to pop the big zit on my forehead. She charged me a dollar extra. FML

#17418334
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (6475)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm - misc - by pizzaface - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (10466)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (3344)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (3344)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (1731)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (7884)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)



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