Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4112
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's last visitors

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (4347)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9813) - you deserved it (66866)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

#17525336
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

#17493328
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (2248)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:31pm - animals - by busybuzzybee - United States (California)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (4610)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32053) - you deserved it (11028)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

#17479569
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (18082)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

#17457202
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (15729)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (4078)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2088)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30686) - you deserved it (2872)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: