Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5978
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's page activity

Visits<b>B4bynunn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:44am<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:05pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty there piss-pipes an poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I putted a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign an knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs an I don't know wat to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I was upset after a fight with mah husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in an hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter mah husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

#17545314
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (3928)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:38am - kids - by Danielle - United States (New York)

yesterday I was with my boyfriend an I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable an that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something ( awesome ) like that. FML

#17544158
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (4822)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that mah dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically , KFC. FML

#17538600
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (5502)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today , my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived , I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period an didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache an a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (42859)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I Found Out Apparently, I Have A Wierd Looking Vagina. How? My Boyfriend And I Had Sex Fir The First Time. He Took One Look At My Virginia And With A Look Of Horror Said, "I Have Never Seen One This GROSS." He's A Gynecologist And Probably Sees 20 Vaginas A Day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58358) - you deserved it (7196)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm a ost at a restaurant!! We ad a birtday party 4 a couple of 15 year old boys an tere friends!! I went to clean te batroom at te end of ma sift an discoverd cake everywere, including all over te urinal!! Tey were even nice enoug to draw a smiley on te mirror wit icing!! FML

#17535698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (2132)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Taday I finally lost virginity. In boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (39055)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it 4 "tax reasons." FML

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. big fat FML

#17529546
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (5955)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, MY 4 YEAR OLD ASKD TO GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY IN THE SPRINKLER. I TOLD HIM NOT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WAS BUSY AND HE'S TOO LITTLE TO PLAY OUTSIDE BY HIMSELF. I CAME OUT OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM LATER TO FINE HE'D BROUGHT THE SPRINKLER IN THE HOUSE AND TURND THE WATER ON. AT LEAST HE LISTEND. FML

#17528012
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (8132)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I Went To The Movies. I Was Seatd Next To A Womanho Talkd Through The Film An Said: "Awwww" Every Time She Saw A Primate. I Went To See 'Rise Of Planet Of The Apes'. FML

#17527301
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months calld me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumpd me "just in case." FML

#17527227
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (2362)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that rular is not a light sabar," and "stop making dog noisas" all in tha sama santanca at work. I taach Advancad Placamant Calculus to high school saniors.

#17526799
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (4779)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

I Found Out That Instaad Of Baing Stationd In Afghanistan Mah Husband Of 9 Yaars Has Baan ( Stationd ) At His Othar Girlfriand's Housa !! FML

#17526704
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60497) - you deserved it (3474)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: