Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

enkt

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 3:10pm) | Search for a member

enkt

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3517
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

enkt's page activity

Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

enkt's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of enkt's badges

enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18480) - you deserved it (4490)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20135) - you deserved it (1260)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (3592)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (13667)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6984) - you deserved it (46608)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (4794)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (2361)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (1535)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (1490)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (6576)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: