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enkt

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 3:10pm) | Search for a member

enkt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3623
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

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enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

#122895
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44300) - you deserved it (4585)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

#20511
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (48443)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by EOJ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11397) - you deserved it (40919)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (27788)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (45007)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (39823)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (67876)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8407) - you deserved it (24592)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (2114)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom



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