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enkt

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enkt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4914
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

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enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (6327)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47672) - you deserved it (5060)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (8210)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (59881)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70915) - you deserved it (5219)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44910) - you deserved it (20888)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44910) - you deserved it (20888)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59678) - you deserved it (4597)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129440) - you deserved it (9666)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (119553)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66254) - you deserved it (27508)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46068) - you deserved it (12001)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (65524)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

#2938815
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (33737)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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