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enkt

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enkt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4768
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

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enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (4371)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34795) - you deserved it (2582)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (4128)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (17948)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16190) - you deserved it (44142)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62605) - you deserved it (13752)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML

#4595424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (43417)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10391) - you deserved it (41764)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48020) - you deserved it (27165)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48020) - you deserved it (27165)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58025) - you deserved it (26229)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

#3939096
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48970) - you deserved it (5045)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11487) - you deserved it (65211)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52630) - you deserved it (3017)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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