enkt

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/11/2016 at 4:16am)

enkt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6833
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

enkt's page activity

Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

enkt's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of enkt's badges

enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

by Embarassed / 08/30/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

by littleguy / 08/20/2009 at 11:55am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

by Fibericon / 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

by ilikemusicokay / 08/08/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

by hoho5191 / 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

by thicklysettled / 07/20/2009 at 12:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

by Tasty / 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love