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enkt

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enkt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3488
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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enkt's page activity

Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

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enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (1547)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (28788)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (12236)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (2063)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

#20067540
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12914) - you deserved it (52781)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (2548)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML



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