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enkt

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enkt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5350
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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enkt's page activity

Visits<b>Slavgaard</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:54pm

enkt's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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enkt's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19875) - you deserved it (4229)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (1530)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (26628)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (7692)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (4874)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (5411)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (1773)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2216)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (7062)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (2064)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (3567)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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