Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 734
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About enddmd : Soooo.......ummm......Hello there. My name's Mike. I love music—playing, reading, and listening—, and I think that wearing morphsuits (and other identity-hiding costumes) is fun. Have a pleasant day.

...What are you still doing here? Go fuck a cactus or something. (Or give me a 'Fuck,' as I just ran out of ones to give).

enddmd's page activity

Visits<b>asiakvt</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:27am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:29pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:18pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:41pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:06pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:42pm<b>beserker81</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:15pm<b>butlins11</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:57am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:49am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:40am<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:16am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:17pm<b>orbit</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:16pm<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:47pm<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:06am

Liked!<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:06pm

enddmd's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of enddmd's badges

enddmd's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (2751)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (5401)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (4363)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (4354)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (9808)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: