About emtman : Just a paramedic wanting to laugh at other's misfortune.
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Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (2338)
On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37443) - you deserved it (6764)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (2618)
On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16322) - you deserved it (2317)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (3332)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (2608)
On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (2584) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (15707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54789) - you deserved it (2122)
On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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