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emsdashkova

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emsdashkova

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About emsdashkova : terror.

emsdashkova's page activity

Visits<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:16pm<b>LubricateMe</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 12:26am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:56pm<b>moksha</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 9:39am<b>qtips402</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 8:25pm

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emsdashkova's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (9110)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107203) - you deserved it (6435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32069) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (23675)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14817) - you deserved it (99722)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46265) - you deserved it (8321)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228734) - you deserved it (80520)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (1661)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)



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