emsdashkova

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emsdashkova

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 742
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About emsdashkova : terror.

emsdashkova's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:48pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:16pm<b>LubricateMe</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 12:26am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:56pm<b>qtips402</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 8:25pm

emsdashkova's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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emsdashkova's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

by mzgabbster / 10/24/2010 at 8:21am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

by qwerty / 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

by Ren / 01/30/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous