Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emsdashkova

Search for a member

emsdashkova

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 415
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About emsdashkova : terror.

emsdashkova's page activity

Visits<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:16pm<b>LubricateMe</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 12:26am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:56pm<b>moksha</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 9:39am<b>qtips402</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 8:25pm

emsdashkova's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of emsdashkova's badges

emsdashkova's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10701) - you deserved it (36806)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (2908)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (1790)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

#19563057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (6681)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

#19343817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37527) - you deserved it (2481)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (12615)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36489) - you deserved it (4474)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23270) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9889) - you deserved it (67183)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (10851)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: