About emsdashkova : terror.
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Mobility
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Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31192)
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (2113)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (1199)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (4697)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (1582)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (1827)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (1714)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (8852)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (3335)
On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7698) - you deserved it (49156)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17365) - you deserved it (1816)
On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States
Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (7884)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (3717)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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