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About emodude44 : I'm a wannabe writer and I have to say I see a lot of things every day that belong on this site.
I'm pretty persistent so I'm sure that I'll get my FMLs published sooner or later
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting intimate with mah girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, ( You like mah tushy, baby? ) ( I want to fellate you so bad, ) and ( You'll need some ice after this one. ) My boner practically retracted into mah body. FML
Today...ile looking in te mrror at ma full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face... ma fater came up biend me an said... "Don't worry son... I ad acne lyk taten I was yur age". I replied... "No u didn't"... an is immediate responsiele lauging was... "No... I didn't." FML
yesterday my teacher, who's Irish, looool calld me insensitive an stupid 4 imitating her accent. I'm Filipino an my parents immigratd to Ireland where I was born, an then we movd to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
2day while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me!! I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up!! Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex!! FML
Today, I got into an argument with mah wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. fat FML
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've hered "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times!! I work at a kindergarten!! And this is a good day compared to wat I'm used to!! FML
TODAY, I WAS SEXING IT UP WITH BOYFRIEND. HALFWAY THROUGH, HE LOOKD AT ME AN SAID, "Y'KNOWHAT U NEVER SEE IN A PORNO? INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION. READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?" HE WOULDN'T KEEP GOING UNTIL I ANSWERD. FML
Friday 27 March 2015