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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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emodude44

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emodude44
  • Town/Country : Hell, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2189
  • Number of comments : 438
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About emodude44 : I'm a wannabe writer and I have to say I see a lot of things every day that belong on this site.
I'm pretty persistent so I'm sure that I'll get my FMLs published sooner or later

emodude44's last visitors

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emodude44's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

emodude44's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (2854)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (3033) - you deserved it (6721)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (11288) - you deserved it (1740)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (7773) - you deserved it (1139)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (732)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (773)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (10392) - you deserved it (786)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (21670) - you deserved it (5563)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (3284) - you deserved it (12053)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (12337) - you deserved it (1271)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (16039) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (1351)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (18546)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (9707) - you deserved it (2644)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)