Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/21/2015 at 6:22am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14294
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 30 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Nish007</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>bomzo</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:40am<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:26am<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Nedaj</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:16am<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:17am<b>pred8885</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:55am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:02am<b>amc597</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:02pm<b>laurenhem</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:08pm<b>JupiterPainon</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:49pm<b>Jaymojustmaybe</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:17pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:16pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:17pm

Fucked!<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:39pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:26am<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:08pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:18am<b>bomzo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:39pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:08pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:55am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:44am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:14pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:36am<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:09pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:10am<b>slurmslip</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:55pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:58pm

emmingle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (7072)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (2576)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42501) - you deserved it (6879)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (3600)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43255) - you deserved it (15037)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (97126)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55778) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60985) - you deserved it (7069)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52501) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57348) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45481) - you deserved it (6491)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63595) - you deserved it (8290)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML


I agree, your life sucks (60583) - you deserved it (13052)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: