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emmingle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6377
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About emmingle : I probably won't message you back

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>ABillOnFire</b> - yesterday at 10:03pm<b>RokNRoll11</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>thatkid00117</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:52pm<b>itskattt</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:16pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:20am<b>SamtheMan19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:35am<b>simsgirlgem</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:19am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>ItsJustMe1616</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:15am<b>Callilah</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:13pm<b>mathen</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:26am<b>AlexEsc11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:05am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:24am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:18am<b>simbafinau183</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:41pm

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emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (6670)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (6490)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44170) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (14056)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (89961)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52026) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49076) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53694) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (6133)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59881) - you deserved it (7806)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55949) - you deserved it (11940)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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