Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emmingle

Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

emmingle

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8544
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>hater4lizife</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:57pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:03pm<b>delhh</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:11pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:48am<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:54pm<b>broken79</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:37am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:44am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>corleon198425</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:41am<b>crocks97</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:32am<b>desensitized</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:02am<b>Spigley</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:51pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>Alexis1234567</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:48am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:54am<b>FrostBite2202003</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:40am

emmingle's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (6806)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (6615)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44726) - you deserved it (3392)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (14097)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (92276)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52155) - you deserved it (3124)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57767) - you deserved it (6717)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50152) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (6142)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60069) - you deserved it (7822)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56213) - you deserved it (11991)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: