Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emmingle

Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

emmingle

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8546
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>hater4lizife</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:57pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:03pm<b>delhh</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:11pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:48am<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:54pm<b>broken79</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:37am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:44am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>corleon198425</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:41am<b>crocks97</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:32am<b>desensitized</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:02am<b>Spigley</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:51pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>Alexis1234567</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:48am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:54am<b>FrostBite2202003</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:40am

emmingle's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54685) - you deserved it (4917)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (17249)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML

#4595424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (43156)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60279) - you deserved it (4501)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10888) - you deserved it (46518)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

#4554817
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51974) - you deserved it (6908)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

#4545091
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (4303)

On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (17967)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (17967)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45817) - you deserved it (3662)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (2642)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100277) - you deserved it (4978)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

#4450231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (5377)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

#4418017
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (20057)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:25am - animals - by Entheatus (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: