Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emmingle

Search for a member

emmingle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6214
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About emmingle : I probably won't message you back

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>RokNRoll11</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>thatkid00117</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:52pm<b>itskattt</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:16pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:20am<b>SamtheMan19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:35am<b>simsgirlgem</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:19am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>ItsJustMe1616</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:15am<b>Callilah</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:13pm<b>mathen</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:26am<b>AlexEsc11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:05am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:24am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:18am<b>simbafinau183</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:07pm

emmingle's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (9201)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41216) - you deserved it (5383)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

#21016807
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42302) - you deserved it (3773)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (4352)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (2974)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (21752)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (3579)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44594) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (18792)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (4655)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: