emmiep1011

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emmiep1011

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2573
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About emmiep1011 : message me if you want to talk (:

emmiep1011's page activity

Visits<b>DamianWolf</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:58am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 9:10am<b>mammajules1973</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:09am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 7:15pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:54pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 7:53am<b>rallets</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:12am<b>sneeks</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 10:19am<b>velociraptor_123</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 5:54pm<b>clashae88</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 11:32pm<b>Motafota</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:10pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 5:00pm<b>spuddy998</b> - the 11/01/2012 at 11:49am<b>Grizil</b> - the 06/04/2012 at 4:16pm<b>Tistheseason</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 1:25am<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 03/21/2012 at 8:04am<b>ally_anonymous</b> - the 02/12/2012 at 11:29pm

emmiep1011's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of emmiep1011's badges

emmiep1011's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

by imnotacat / 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

by SaggyBoy135 / 07/12/2011 at 8:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

by BMike / 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

by Username / 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm / United States / Health

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

by cocacoola / 07/11/2011 at 10:24am / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Kids

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

by muffintop / 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

by asianjoe / 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

by asianjoe / 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy