emmanizzer

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emmanizzer

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2441
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About emmanizzer : I'm a bit of a nerd. 8)

emmanizzer's page activity

Visits<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:57pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 5:07pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:22am<b>54754N4</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:43am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:02am<b>xyris</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:30pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 1:51am<b>Born2Pizza</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:20pm<b>helenthepanda</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:04pm<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:58pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:57pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:16pm<b>gratez</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:13am<b>123456789010111</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:46pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:29am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:54am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:32am

Fucked!<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 5:58am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:58am<b>shemademedoit</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:19am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:02am

emmanizzer's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of emmanizzer's badges

emmanizzer's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

by arrowtopatella / 12/24/2011 at 12:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

by Embarrassed Swimmer / 12/11/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health