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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16144) - you deserved it (4127)
On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6760) - you deserved it (3079)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (4625)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (2446)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (29530)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (3114)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by grannygirlfriend - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (5840)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (4033)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (1562)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (1919)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you deserved it (4178)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (7741)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22851) - you deserved it (4310)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (1971)
On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (9143)
On 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by NickC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
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