emirie

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Offline (the 04/02/2014 at 9:22pm)

emirie

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6042
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About emirie : Instagram: Briannaemirie.

emirie's page activity

Visits<b>bbenedict</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 9:42am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:32am<b>jetemack</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:21pm<b>pigrain</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 6:30pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 11:19pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:23pm<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 11:29am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 4:10am<b>Zatert</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 8:50am<b>cloco87</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:46am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:49pm<b>jeff_zz</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 2:09am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 9:22pm<b>ilikedogs123123</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:00am<b>_delusions_</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:09pm<b>RayRayYoooo</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 3:50pm<b>luther48</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:12am<b>TheEpicWario</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:51am

Fucked!<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:02pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 10:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 9:54pm<b>LordSwaggington</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:36pm<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:18pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:47pm<b>HerpNdurp88</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 6:01pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 12:24am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:53am<b>crazywhitekid420</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:16pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:26am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:26pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:11pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:31am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:13am

emirie's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of emirie's badges

emirie's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

by NeverEscaping / 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

by meganridner / 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Health

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

by mizzleshizzle / 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

by caughttt / 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

by toadface / 08/04/2009 at 7:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

by Blah / 03/30/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

by mimo / 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm / Kids