Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emirie

Offline (the 04/02/2014 at 9:22pm) | Search for a member

emirie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2913
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About emirie : Instagram: Briannaemirie.

emirie's page activity

Visits<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:06pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:41pm<b>kaylak0123456789</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:50am<b>ksacha</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:51am<b>M1ggs1124</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:23am<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:15pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:22am<b>Pifflin</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:53am<b>chipinn</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:37pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:08pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:08pm<b>crooklynkid</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:27pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:43pm<b>BFons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:17pm<b>amandam21</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:00pm

emirie's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of emirie's badges

emirie's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2496)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (7979)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (4601)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10973) - you deserved it (47067)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48142) - you deserved it (5570)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (3048)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

#15229346
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32362) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (56148)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

#8067680
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (36067)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - love - by caughttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

#4290103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you deserved it (7144)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:25pm - health - by toadface (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (74820)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (119781)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

#695731
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52703) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:39am - work - by Blah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51434) - you deserved it (4413)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: