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emirie's favorite FMLs
by heart broken / 12/29/2013 at 4:05am / United States / Love
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
by worstwaytodumpagirl / 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML
by rejected / 12/23/2013 at 5:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by Iloverainbows10 / 12/18/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML
by ali456 / 12/01/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by fack / 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML
by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE / 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
by Haberdashing / 11/13/2013 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…