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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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emilyxorawr

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emilyxorawr
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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emilyxorawr's last visitors

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emilyxorawr's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (3239)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

#15122545 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (48599)

On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (6801)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (49442)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (4580) - you deserved it (33702)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

#14394529 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (17190) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (41142)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (7549)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

#13925706 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (17751) - you deserved it (6136)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by rebeccacaissie - United States

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (43379)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (4737)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (15731) - you deserved it (6370)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (11450) - you deserved it (17961)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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