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emilylk

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emilylk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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emilylk's page activity

Visits<b>freshprizzle1</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:44am<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>jsp16</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 4:34am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:40pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:21pm<b>HaleyH_</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:02am<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 3:12am<b>Rxp</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:13pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 2:13am<b>Damian95</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 1:28pm<b>iriss</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:47pm<b>sweatypandalove</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 7:30am<b>paulina1227</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 7:14pm

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emilylk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44998) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41858) - you deserved it (3072)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46684) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40558) - you deserved it (20254)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (3809)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (3762) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47492) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53808) - you deserved it (7649)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (8593)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47163) - you deserved it (9134)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (7455)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52180) - you deserved it (11982)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom



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