Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About emilycupcakee : Good morning! My name's Emily or Emi and I have fluffy hair. I've read every single FML ever and never commented on any! I love cosplaying, especially Matt from Death Note and 2D from one of my favorite bands, Gorillaz(=
Ermmm other than that, I'm a huge fan of Muse, 30 Seconds to Mars, Lady Gaga, Die Antwoord, Led Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd.
My favorite gaming platform is DS lite but I looooove Silent Hill 2 on PS2
*follow me on Instagram* >>>> "plug_in_emi"
Thats awl byeee
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
Friday 29 August 2014