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emily_1992

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emily_1992

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About emily_1992 : Next...

emily_1992's page activity

Visits<b>iBanana151</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:24pm<b>wrathpewpew</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:16pm<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:14am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:25pm<b>lmtlmt</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 8:07am<b>edensucksatlife</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 6:29am

emily_1992's FML badges

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emily_1992's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (4236)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45867) - you deserved it (8714)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (5340)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (5340)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50854) - you deserved it (3747)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (4312)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#14726296
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username -

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18058) - you deserved it (74480)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52004) - you deserved it (9428)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80886) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5195) - you deserved it (39810)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version



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