emily689

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/06/2015 at 12:09pm)

emily689

1Fucked!

emily689emily689
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emily689 : Forever laughing at my own jokes.

emily689's page activity

Visits<b>wolfblade</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:44am<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:13am<b>aaliyahmlp</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:01pm<b>tinytyler</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:44am<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:54pm<b>AsharKhan</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:45pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:05am<b>SweetBoredom</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:36pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 5:40pm<b>toaster123</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 3:23pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:30am<b>shaww</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:05am<b>OctoDope</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:27pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:31pm

Fucked!<b>wolfblade</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:44pm

emily689's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of emily689's badges

emily689's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Money

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

by astalkerindeed / 05/16/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

by bummed and broke / 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm / United States / Money

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

by sarahcurtis213 / 11/13/2012 at 2:36am / United States / Miscellaneous