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emily213z

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emily213z
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emily213z : Animal lover, flute/saxophone/piano player:)

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emily213z's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

#6779540
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (5219)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (19812)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (6142)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

#5720905
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:13pm - work - by Dan (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (104143)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (562774) - you deserved it (35295)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (618358) - you deserved it (414555)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097413) - you deserved it (108917)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114831) - you deserved it (20786)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (7259)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)



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