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emily213z

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emily213z

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 565
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emily213z : Animal lover, flute/saxophone/piano player:)

emily213z's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 6:05am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:29pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:01am<b>Give_Linux_A_Go</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 10:48am

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emily213z's favorite FMLs

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (6139) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46659) - you deserved it (4857)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

#17184775
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56110) - you deserved it (6977)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (6382)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57890)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3369)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (77053)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (4156)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (51502)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (12282)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (7441)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (15003)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -



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