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emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

9Liked!

emeraldisleemeraldisle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3962
  • Number of comments : 594
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>8liroliro8</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:13am<b>gurbism</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:23pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:52am<b>nephilim241</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:53pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Amandallynn</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:41pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:36am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:00am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:52am<b>vreid</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:50am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:02am<b>TheDude992</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:06am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:04pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:46am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:39pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:06pm

Liked!<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:29pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:00am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:11pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:57am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:36pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:45am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48352) - you deserved it (9364)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48767) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (3958)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (2847)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69142) - you deserved it (3968)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73155) - you deserved it (7231)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57078) - you deserved it (9871)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (8919)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61093) - you deserved it (13830)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55208) - you deserved it (64302)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53491) - you deserved it (4054)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (65703)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55703) - you deserved it (5031)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55703) - you deserved it (5031)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)



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