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emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

145Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7064
  • Number of comments : 691
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>joecool86</b> - 7 hours ago<b>mickybagabeers</b> - 8 hours ago<b>leo_ost</b> - 14 hours ago<b>NinjaChris</b> - 20 hours ago<b>mattdumas1</b> - 20 hours ago<b>u2scsi</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Sonotsuave</b> - 23 hours ago<b>salmanch</b> - yesterday at 4:24pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>Texan_here_</b> - yesterday at 7:50am<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - yesterday at 7:31am<b>habfan1970</b> - yesterday at 4:44am<b>lifesafaitytale</b> - yesterday at 3:46am<b>thetacosniper</b> - yesterday at 2:40am<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:26pm<b>askullnamedbilly</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:40pm<b>ldhull</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:35pm

Fucked!<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - yesterday at 10:41pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:23am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:59pm<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:56am<b>BigbenMrJDM</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:58am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:42am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:29pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:17am<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:25am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:27pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:12pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:43am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:23am<b>lambda</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:09am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66556) - you deserved it (5747)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (10241)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46712) - you deserved it (15289)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54268) - you deserved it (4453)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (9820)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52242) - you deserved it (4719)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46492) - you deserved it (4234)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (3109)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74399) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78262) - you deserved it (7668)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60766) - you deserved it (10301)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47894) - you deserved it (9238)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65561) - you deserved it (14809)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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