Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

24Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4824
  • Number of comments : 616
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:50pm<b>frogpotatoz088</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:09am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:28am<b>DarkAngel12346</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 3:47am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:11am<b>silentseries</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:18am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:07pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:16pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:02pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:29pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:39pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:35pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:53pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:46pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:14pm<b>facebag</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:56pm

Fucked!<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:54pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:25pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:00pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:04pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:33am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:56am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:41am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:26am<b>Anz4c</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:33pm<b>curtnay2009</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:19am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:27am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:29pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:00am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:50am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46240) - you deserved it (11384)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60645) - you deserved it (9162)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64230) - you deserved it (5220)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (112856)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54906) - you deserved it (6863)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (9347)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66185) - you deserved it (4046)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48314) - you deserved it (13786)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50733) - you deserved it (10884)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50733) - you deserved it (10884)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47549) - you deserved it (4892)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (6751)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: