emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

164Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8538
  • Number of comments : 717
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>dtut</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 8:32am<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:04am<b>aussilynn3312</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:36pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:25pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:33pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:47am<b>Dovahkiin_1997</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 3:08am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:09am<b>Grayjack</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 1:04am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:57pm<b>tengo</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:52pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:20pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:38pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:17pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:31pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:34am<b>mondesno</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:30am

Fucked!<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>unicornhugger</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:31am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:09pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:15am<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:22pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:28pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:06am<b>BeccaRaye</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:01pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:39am<b>aliciousness116</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:34pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Dieterle</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:50pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:10pm<b>gdeekay</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:05pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:32pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 11:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

by arse-face / 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm / Ireland (Clare) / Miscellaneous