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ember19

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ember19

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 339
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ember19's favorite FMLs

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

#16714165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (3706)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (15014)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2834)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10479) - you deserved it (44369)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (25803)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (46542)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (29450)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (28127)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (4136)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (6881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (30697)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

#14150580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6075) - you deserved it (48273)

On 12/10/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by eyeleanify (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (8934)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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