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ember1215

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ember1215

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  • Number of visits : 90
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ember1215's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ember1215's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (5757)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79746) - you deserved it (8239)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49445) - you deserved it (24463)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you deserved it (7047) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (4397)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (3216)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (1954)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

#15501357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53162) - you deserved it (10669)

On 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (7984)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (2296)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52866) - you deserved it (7881)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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