Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

emavckri655

Search for a member

emavckri655
  • Town/Country : Glasgow, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 January 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emavckri655 : not much to say really (-:

emavckri655's last visitors

FreezeRabenaTeRaZenmaILIEKGIRLSlovely997ImAllFailurevannesaxabukoDarkMirrorHey_Darlfallindownagain

emavckri655's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

emavckri655's favorite FMLs

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57276) - you deserved it (5247)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (48272)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61165) - you deserved it (16777)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10374) - you deserved it (115664)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88452) - you deserved it (4259)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (193685) - you deserved it (21249)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13850) - you deserved it (53783)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (41576)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70012) - you deserved it (6289)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

#249952
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (7160)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (3237)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: