emala1096

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emala1096

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 912
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emala1096 : A bit immature, but immaturity is what keeps my life interesting.I like to think I'm funny. Actually, I think I'm freakin hilarious. Huge Potterhead. (~*slytherin house FTW*~) I am possibly the awkwardest person you will ever meet, so don't be too weirded out by my fucking strange comments. I do curse more than I really should. Stalk me, I'll pry your eyes out with a plastic spork because I am just a conniving bitch in that way. Have a fantabulous day!

emala1096's page activity

Visits<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:48pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:38pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:12am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:58am<b>Trollx</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:51pm<b>slickfawn</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:08am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:47am<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:58am<b>jdniscool</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:38pm<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:49am<b>Ahjuju223</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:50am<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:47am<b>mhee</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 9:09am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:39am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:47pm<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:59am

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emala1096's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

by Coffee Boy / 06/23/2012 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2011 at 8:57am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

by tireedddddd / 11/25/2011 at 11:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

by COCKYmanUSC / 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

by chaoticnh / 06/24/2011 at 5:57am / Austria / Health

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

by wilsmith / 02/01/2010 at 7:36am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

by mah / 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

by Jssceli09 / 12/18/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous