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emac123

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emac123
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  • Number of visits : 740
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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emac123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50503) - you deserved it (17279)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (82823)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

#1312946
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8925) - you deserved it (52938)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (43821)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (385572) - you deserved it (61714)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (66921)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (41839)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (38430)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76187) - you deserved it (23629)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6048) - you deserved it (45186)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

#708
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12773) - you deserved it (14219)

On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96230) - you deserved it (13970)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -



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