Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

em_iweird

Online | Search for a member

em_iweird

11Fucked!

em_iweird
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 May 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 526
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

em_iweird's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:00am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:35am<b>lightning20</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 9:29am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:53pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:16pm<b>salii321</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>khnumber15</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:58pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:53am<b>MortenM</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:03pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:15am<b>1known</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:34am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:30am<b>Soparot</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:48am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:57pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:20pm<b>C_Ramirez1695</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:07am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:14am

Fucked!<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:54am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:16pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:05pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:14am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 6:54pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:21am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:57am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:23am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:14am<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:34am

em_iweird's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of em_iweird's badges

em_iweird's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

#21500495
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (3852)

On 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anon - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

#21495829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (5236)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Stuby14 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (8727)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML

#21456333
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (4130)

On 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm - health - by someboody - United States (California)

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

#21438625
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (1934)

On 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (4349)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (5778)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (4902)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (2616)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (7362)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (4075)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (9737)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (3365)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: