Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

em_iweird

Online | Search for a member

em_iweird

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

em_iweird's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:48am<b>plagiarismo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:37pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:36am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Hans182</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:57am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:22am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:18am<b>Wrex</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:26am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:46am<b>sammy18f</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:03pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:50am<b>lex1459</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:24am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:32am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:35pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:12am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 11:01pm

em_iweird's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of em_iweird's badges

em_iweird's favorite FMLs

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (8955)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (2820)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (5547)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47611) - you deserved it (7047)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49930) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (5334)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55058) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (3701)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (66693)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53062) - you deserved it (9159)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55087) - you deserved it (10604)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: