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elnorris14

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elnorris14

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 February 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elnorris14 : chill out, relax

elnorris14's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:46am<b>abv96</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:36pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:49pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:04pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 6:49pm<b>dynojay</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:19pm<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:19am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:39am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:42pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:12am<b>Baucis</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:57pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 5:28pm<b>nightowl713</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 5:38am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:54am

elnorris14's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of elnorris14's badges

elnorris14's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (12086)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (12318)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (35709)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35025) - you deserved it (4990)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32421) - you deserved it (3388)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52633) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (55577)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51408) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61513) - you deserved it (4567)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45259) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML



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