elnorris14

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Offline (the 07/25/2016 at 7:43pm)

elnorris14

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elnorris14 : chill out, relax

elnorris14's page activity

Visits<b>ajs375</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:15pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:38am<b>dtut</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:29am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:26pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:52am<b>Dasin6</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:22am<b>Adam_Power58</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 5:07am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:46am<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:49pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:04pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 6:49pm<b>dynojay</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:19pm<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:19am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:39am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:12am<b>Baucis</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:57pm

elnorris14's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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elnorris14's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 1:42am / France (Corse) / Intimacy

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 10:27am / Health

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

by CJune24 / 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm / Australia / Love

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

by OvertonHippie / 01/13/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.