Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

elizacandle

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

elizacandle

14Fucked!

elizacandleelizacandle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 721
  • Number of comments : 301
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About elizacandle : Hello everyone I'm Elizabeth! I love to read on this site because it reminds me that I'm not alone. I currently work and go to school I am majoring in psychology and if you want to message just hit me up

elizacandle's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 48 minutes ago<b>Mons</b> - 8 hours ago<b>bigdog80</b> - 10 hours ago<b>mythicalghosty</b> - 17 hours ago<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:00am<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ironmany</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:43pm<b>loveafrica</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 9:08pm<b>obas</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:01pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:18am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:08am<b>csjc</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:15am<b>ricardof</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 9:01am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:28am<b>Dick_diamond</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:23am

Fucked!<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:48pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:08pm<b>csjc</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:15pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:58pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:11pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:03pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:30am<b>Kitra555</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:04am<b>KampKush</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:31am<b>thatfmlguy25</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:31am<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:47pm<b>mr_mac81</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:36am<b>Cristian_F</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:58am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:03am

elizacandle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of elizacandle's badges

elizacandle's favorite FMLs

Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (50415)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (6711)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (2091)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (3935)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (3061)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (72567)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: