- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Wednesday 29 September 1993 (22 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 2085
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About elitemittens : UH.
About elitemittens : UH.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work
by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by Ashley / 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML
by seagull hater / 07/09/2012 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals