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elitemittens

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1812
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elitemittens : UH.

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elitemittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (2387)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

#20067647
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (4209)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (29258)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (3766)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10572) - you deserved it (24214)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (2265)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

#20060059
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (24619)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

#20053572
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (4488)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (4793)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (27851)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML

#20046479
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (26024)

On 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by p (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

#20039608
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)



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