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elitemittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elitemittens : UH.

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elitemittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (23786)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7849) - you deserved it (21767)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20640) - you deserved it (2640)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (2008)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (4237)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (1256)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (6042)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17674) - you deserved it (2402)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18335) - you deserved it (1713)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17578) - you deserved it (6964)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)



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