- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Wednesday 29 September 1993 (22 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 1998
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About elitemittens : UH.
About elitemittens : UH.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
by ktreens / 10/19/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 10/18/2012 at 4:33am / Australia / Kids
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Randolph / 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by oppafucktardstyle / 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
by monkeyzz / 10/12/2012 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
by yolo is for shitheads / 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm / United States / Work
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by Johnnogood / 10/09/2012 at 9:57am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love