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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (6913)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (4154)
On 03/01/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by oboy - United States
Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1456)
On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (4195)
On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (17231)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States
Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (1651)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1847)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4604) - you deserved it (22134)
On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13324) - you deserved it (9092)
On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11206) - you deserved it (2128)
On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (12191)
On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18311) - you deserved it (4353)
On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7579) - you deserved it (25053)
On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (2730)
On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (1315)
On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)
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