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elisha897

Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 9:53am) | Search for a member

elisha897

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 181
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elisha897's page activity

Visits<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 2:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:03pm<b>JACKxRAWR</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:01pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 3:46am

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elisha897's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with mah boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decidd to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (5246)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

yesterday out of boredom I built cat a little fort!! Later I decided to crawl inside to pet her but as soon as I stuck head in she clawed me!! I guess I'm not allowed in then!! real FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (8545)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising mah middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished mah cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting mah death. FML

Today, I'm trapped in apartment . My new cat won't let me leave . Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses looool an tries to savage me . I'm own cat's bitch . FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45335) - you deserved it (19285)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Yesterday.. . my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month.. . along with his new phone.. . airsoft gun.. . and variou other thing he's blown our money on this year . He's bought nothing to prepare for our son.. . though.. . who's due next month . FML

#20729447
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46088) - you deserved it (25000)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, THE DOORBELL RANG. I SAW INCREDIBLY OVERBEARING MUM'S CAR OUTSIDE, SO I STAYED QUIET AN TRIED TO SNEAK UPSTARS. AS I CRAWLED THROUGH THE HALLWAY, COMMANDO STYLE, I REALISED THE DOOR BLIND WERE STILL OUT FOR CLEANING. IF SCOWL COULD KILL, I'D BE ROASTING IN HELL RIGHT NOW. BIG FAT FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (9754)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today,hile going down on grlfriend , I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm , she tore out a clump of hair , causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said , "Ah shut it , ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54014) - you deserved it (12376)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I Walked In On My Husband Eating Cat Food Out Of The Cat Bowl Dressed In A Cat Costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY, I CAME HOME IN TERES OVER FINDING OUT MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME. I TOLD MY SEEMINGLY SYMPATHETIC DAD EVERYTHING. HIS ADVICE WAS TO LURE THEM BOTH TO OUR HOUSE WITH THE PROMISE OF A THREE-WAY, AFTERHICH HE'D "KILL THE SHIT" OUT OF THEM. REAL MATURE, DAD. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new grlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47177) - you deserved it (3378)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (62049)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today,hile working , I thought , "I wish mah kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized , I'm that cat lady you read about . FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (12564)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

TODAY , I REALISD THE EXTENT OF MY WIFE'S CAT OBSESSIONHEN I RECEIVD AN $850 BILL FIR THE AIR CONDITIONER SHE LEAVES ON FIR OUR 5 CATSHILE WE ARE AT WORK. FML

#20524027
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3916)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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