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eliiteXXXninja

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 4:57am) | Search for a member

eliiteXXXninja

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 125
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About eliiteXXXninja : Boats and Hoes

eliiteXXXninja's page activity

Visits<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:38pm<b>GemmaAnne</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:03pm

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eliiteXXXninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (6627)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you deserved it (4203)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (4038)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (16721)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50007) - you deserved it (8391)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53077) - you deserved it (8955)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (68165)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52553) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57405) - you deserved it (8232)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64007) - you deserved it (3436)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58071) - you deserved it (4133)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (13041)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (7647)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States



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