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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About eliiteXXXninja : Boats and Hoes

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eliiteXXXninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (4063)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (7423)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (2007)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49634) - you deserved it (7071)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51572) - you deserved it (4221)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (4314)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (18123)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (8441)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53489) - you deserved it (8997)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (68522)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

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