elibel

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Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 12:12am)

elibel

3Fucked!

elibelelibel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3370
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elibel : Freshman in college

elibel's page activity

Visits<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Endrex</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:53am<b>merikilee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:22am<b>aishah77</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:52am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:01pm<b>hayleyblack2u71</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:47pm<b>vrossie_</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:56pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:04pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:19am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:39pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:09pm<b>candyolympics</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:13pm<b>CraftedByHand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:08am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:15am<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:15am

Fucked!<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:39am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:41am

elibel's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of elibel's badges

elibel's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

by Lithiac / 02/04/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids